How Is It That I’m Carrying Around So Much Rage And Depression At The Same Time?

Biden won. Trump lost. I’ve been working for the past 4-years for this. I should be happy?

Eric J Scholl
5 min readDec 2, 2020

And that means Trump’s getting to me. Not that it ultimately matters. Not that I’m coming to believe any of the conspiracy theories he’s spewing. More the onslaught alone, which is endless and limitless, especially since it’s unbounded by fact or evidence. You can assert anything you want as truth for forever as long as you don’t have to back up or prove it’s really true.

Also, the number of people who still blindly support him, including some of my friends, including at least publicly many party leaders. As if they are the model citizens in this country and passed their “citizen test”, while I, and a lot of the people who did not vote for Trump especially if they live in big cities, do not, and thus deserve to have our votes tossed out.

And the scam Trump is running right now is a loyalty test, pure and simple. Which is what makes it such a dangerous test of Democracy. And a determination of whether loyalty to an individual, however much you may like him, and believe he’s doing the right thing and not erratic and incompetent, means you don’t care if you live in a dictatorship and throw out what this country has stood for after 200 years, gladly.

So yeah, that’s it in a nutshell: infuriating and depressing.

I guess the good thing maybe is fewer people don’t care. More people are engaged with politics than ever. Although the people I know who don’t vote because they don’t see how politics affects their lives, still didn’t vote. And I can envision them living their same lives under a dictatorship as in a Democracy and saying “see”?

I’m also angry at people who pooh-poohed me from the beginning, saying “don’t worry, this country’s gotten through worse, even Trump can’t be that bad”. No.

The few people in Trump’s party these days who’ve done their jobs, are not just getting fired and/or slandered, they’re getting torn apart. And you begin to wonder why they’re willing to pay such steep a price. Just to do the right thing. And it’s not even the “right thing”, really. It’s the baseline of what…



Eric J Scholl

Peabody award winning journalist. Streaming media pioneer. Played @ CBGB back in the day. Editor-In-Chief "The Chaos Report"